⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Enough with this bullshit. You know what love is? Love is cruel.

Love has a pinnacle, except, no one ever realizes when they're there. Those few weeks where you eat, sleep, and breathe the other person. You have toe curling sex at every turn. You cannot wait to lie against their chest and just exist for a while. You endure their awful family and you kiss them from head to toe and would drink their bath water if given the chance. And then it stops. You appreciate being around them. You enjoy the comfort. You don't hate being with them. But that peak, you'll never get there again.

Goddamnit.

last night as I laid in bed I resolved that, yes, I am 21, and yes I need to be medicated.

and today all I want to do is cry about it.

ohohgodgoddamnit.